Externalizing Blame

Externalizing blame is a common form of self-deception. A person may externalize blame by assuming another person is wrong, hostile, unfair, or responsible while overlooking their own contribution. Self-aware interpretation of conflict considers whether one’s prior behavior created tension, envy, defensiveness, or another emotional reaction. Correcting blame does not require assuming total fault, but it does require resisting the impulse to make the other person the whole explanation. The corrective move for blame is to examine one’s own contribution before settling into blame. A useful correction for externalizing blame is to ask whether one’s own actions, communication, or emotional signals triggered the other person’s response.