Fear and Courage

Children benefit when parents are honest about their own fear while also modeling constructive action. When parents admit fear and describe what they will do next, children learn that fear is a normal state that does not have to control behavior. Teaching courage should include both the flaws and courageous moments of historical figures. Shame is not treated as the main or most reliable way to teach courage. Courage is not the absence of fear but the ability to persist and act despite fear. A courageous act requires that fear is present yet action still occurs because of some hope or optimism. Courageous figures should be made identifiable rather than distant or unreachable. When parents deny fear, children may learn that fear is shameful or that adults are not being truthful. Courage can be taught by celebrating courageous people and helping children feel kinship with them. Courage education should use a diverse cast of heroes rather than limiting courage to one identity, profession, race, battlefield, or historical setting. Children can be taught that fear is felt in the body, is normal, and that they still have choices in how to respond.