Rejection

A small number of painful critics often shape identity harm more than the much larger neutral or supportive majority. The article argues that being surprised by ordinary criticism reflects a failure to anticipate predictable human behavior. Organizing life around avoiding painful critics gives those critics undue influence. Meaningful work predictably attracts judgment from someone. Rejection can increase aggressive impulses when people do not intentionally manage the pain. Online negativity can make hostility seem more common than it is.